Monday morning

The first day I dropped Barrett off at daycare, I was a wreck. I cried on the way there but was determined to pull myself together before going into his classroom and into work. Well that lasted all of about 30 seconds until I broke down in his room. His very sweet teacher hugged me tight, with tears in her own eyes, and told me she understood how hard it was.

Today, amidst the children and their noise and the routine of dropping him off, filling out his paperwork and leaving his bottles, I asked her how old her sons were. She told me they were killed six years ago. They were ages 12 and 17 and were killed in a car accident. I had no words. I cannot even imagine losing my children in such a swift and devastating moment. Her entire world changed that one day and I can't even begin to imagine the pain and grief she must feel.

As a mother, I am now so much more sensitive to atrocities in the world. I look at the sweet little face of my innocent boy and want to keep him as untouched and unaware for as long as I can. I hear about mothers losing their children on the news every night and I have a new understanding and sensitivity for them.

Barrett has only been in my life for 4 brief months but has changed me forever. I never want to live another day without him and I feel tremendously lucky for him. I will do everything I can for the rest of my life to protect him and keep him safe.

He got an extra long hug today before I left.