Barrettisms

Barrett was trying to butt his way in on a toy Audrey was playing with.
Me:  "Barrett, you need to let Audrey play with that by herself."
Barrett:  "but I'm helping to teach her to talk."
Barrett, now in Audrey's face: "TALK."


Me:  "Barrett, what do you think you'd want for your birthday?"
Barrett, without missing a beat: "cake.  Birthday cake."
Me:  "that is the gift you'd want for your birthday?  That's the only thing you want?"
Barrett;  "yes, just cake," with a big smile on his little face.
Alright, sounds like easy birthday shopping for his Mommy!  He definitely is my kid with that sweet tooth!


One morning we were discussing how children are so demanding and think they rule the house.
Me, laughing:  "Barrett, are you a tyrant?"
Barrett:  "no!  I just woke up!"
That one took me a second but then I got it, haha.  Tyrant = tired.


Audrey expresses a lot of interest in the toilet.  Barrett was going potty tonight and Audrey looked very curious.  So Tim asked if she wanted to sit on it.  Se replied, "yea," in her sweet little voice so he pulled her diaper off and sat her on it.
Barrett: "she needs to push her penis down."  (as he was instructed to do when sitting on the potty).
Tim, laughing:  "She doesn't have one"
Barrett:  "oh.  Because she's little?"


We finished a puzzle one afternoon.
Me:  "you did a great job!  I'm very impressed with what a great job you did on this puzzle!"
He very seriously responds: "I couldn't have done it without you."  Smartie pants.


I mentioned to Barrett that our babysitter, Cassie, is coming over to watch him and Audrey on Saturday.
Barrett:  "why?"
Me:  Because Daddy and I are going to dinner."
Barrett:  "I have an idea.  Why don't Daddy and Cassie go to dinner and you stay home with us?"
Hmm....


Barrett and Audrey were playing nicely one day together.  I asked what they were playing.
Barrett: "I'm the daddy and Audrery is the mommy.  We put the cars to sleep and the babies to sleep."
Me: "oh, sounds like everybody is asleep!  Do you want to go to sleep too?"
Barrett: "no, mommies and daddies don't sleep."
Truer words were never spoken, kid.


Irony:  Barrett coming up to me as I was making dinner and telling me, "I locked the pantry door so Audrey can't get into mischief."


Barrett and Audrey were dressing up in the construction worker and firefighter costumes we have.
Me:  "Barrett, do you want to be a construction worker when you grow up?"
Barrett:  "no, a firefighter."
Me:  "oh, a firefighter?"
Barrett:  Thinking..."No.  A bird"