Tuesday, November 22, 2011

My Uterus is the Four Seasons of the Baby World

Warning - this post was written by an overdue and cranky pregnant woman.  Consider yourself warned.

I am officially 4 days overdue now.  And, if you use the ultrasound dating, which put her at a due date of 11/14, I am a week overdue.

This is hard.  The last few weeks have been very difficult already, with the non-stop growing belly, the bad sleep, and the very uncomfortable movements from the very strong girl inside me, but the last few days have been the worst.  This belly is so heavy and cumbersome, I'm so ready to be done.

I have done nearly everything I can think of to progress this along.  I was optimistic when I started having contractions, which I'd never experienced with my first pregnancy.  But the contractions seem to only be strong when I'm walking or on my feet.  They wither away when I'm sitting or laying down.  Baby still hasn't dropped and still seems as perfectly content inside me as ever. 

I must have quite a comfortable uterus, because my kiddos don't seem to ever want to leave!

I am trying to come to terms with the fact that maybe I am not meant to have babies the "normal" way.  Maybe my normal needs to mean a c-section.  I had a few meltdowns yesterday in frustration over my lack of progress and my uncomfortableness and the feeling that my body is once again failing me.  I ended the day with a calm reluctance that maybe I just need to accept the fact that for whatever reason, my body cannot deliver babies.  Perhaps it's a misshapen or narrow pelvis, I'm not sure I'll ever know, but maybe I'm just not meant to have babies like other women can.  This is something that I need to come to terms with.  I had high hopes this time around but in the back of my mind, I guess I always felt like it was likely it would come to this.  I am glad I gave it a shot and did everything I could to try to deliver the way I wanted.  At least I won't have the regrets or "what ifs?" and I can try to be satisfied in knowing that this was how it had to be and there's nothing else I could do to make it happen. 

I am now officially giving up the "old wives tales" of inducing labor naturally.  I am going to spend the next few days enjoying the Thanksgiving holiday with my family, cuddling Barrett as much as I can before my c/s incision puts a halt to that, and trying to savor the last of the little girl's movements inside me.  There's nothing else I can really do at this point!

Friday, November 18, 2011

40 weeks pregnant

Please, oh please, let this be my last weekly picture!
How far along? 40 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: no change
Maternity clothes? yes and even some of them are getting too short 
Stretch marks? I think I have my first few on the middle of my belly
Sleep? not great.  I am so uncomfortable, I'm having lots of trouble sleeping
Movement? yes - she is a non-stop mover
Food craving - hospital food, because that would mean I'm in the hospital having this child 
Gender? girl. a very stubborn, very large, very strong girl
Belly button in or out? flat
What I miss:  not being pregnant
What I'm looking forward to: meeting this little girl, not being pregnant
Milestones: hitting my due date, hitting a wall with this pregnancy

I am 40 weeks pregnant.  I am huge, I am uncomfortable, I am tired.  Nothing is happening to indicate this girl plans to come out anytime soon.  That's really all there is to say about that.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

39 weeks pregnant and feeling...39 weeks pregnant

sooo tired!

How far along? 39 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: mid-30s. I have somehow shockingly gained 5lbs in the last 2 weeks!  I was stunned when I saw that.  I am not even eating that much these days - there just isn't room in my belly.  I know the baby is putting on about half a pound a week plus I am swelling, so that must be what it is.  Holy cow!  Good thing I'm at the end!
Maternity clothes? yes. 
Stretch marks? None so far.
Sleep? not great.  I wake up a lot and sometimes have difficulty getting back to sleep with the little one tossing and turning in my belly.  And now I'm getting such bad backaches that I seem to wake up every time I roll over because it hurts my back whenever I move
Movement? yes - a lot still!
Food craving - no. 
Gender? girl.
Belly button in or out? Do I even have a belly button anymore?  I can't see it at all!
What I miss:  lack of backaches, having a lap, having energy
What I'm looking forward to: meeting this little girl
Milestones: going on the hospital tour, hitting the single digit (wowzers!)

Somehow we're in the home stretch of this pregnancy and little girl could come any day now.   Realizing, though, that yes, she could come any day now, but I know she won't!  Women in my family have our babies notoriously late, so I know I likely still have a few weeks of pregnancy left, which is actually okay with me this time around. I say that now, but am not so confident I'll be saying that in another week!

Anyway, how do I feel these days?  Tired/big/anxious/nervous/excited/tired.  In some ways, it feels like this pregnancy has flown and I can't believe we're already in the last weeks.  And in others, it feels like I've been pregnant forever!  My back is absolutely killing me most days.  It's really hard to get through the day.  Between the fatigue and the backaches, this pregnancy is much harder than I remember the last one being.  You can tell by the 39 week picture how tired I am!

We went on a hospital tour on Sunday.  It was pretty comical when I was asked when I was due to answer "next Friday."  Everyone else was due at least 8+ weeks away and some women barely had a bump.  Nothing like waiting until the last minute with baby #2!  And it was funny that we were the only couple in the group of about 10 others who had another baby.  We were asked a few questions and were the "experts" of the group.  Haha, that's scary!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Little shadow

 Barrett has become our little shadow in the last month or two.  Anything we do - he wants to do.  If I am brushing my teeth and sitting on the side of the tub, he has to get his toothbrush and sit next to me.  If Daddy is coughing, little B imitates with little coughing noises.

As part of coaxing this stubborn little girl into position, I have been bouncing and rotating on an exercise ball, affectionately referred to as "Mommy's ball" by B.  When he sees me get out the ball, he has to get his own and follow suit.

Whoops!  Falling off the ball. But he gets right back on.
And please ignore the toy-filled messy room!  It's apparently very fun to pull every.single.toy out of the toybox and leave them scattered all over!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Trick or Treating

Halloween has come and gone now and we had so much fun with our little pumpkin this year.  We definitely got some use out of his costume this year!  I was debating between either a tiger or an elephant but once I put the elephant costume on him and he cried when I tried to take it off, I knew this was the one for him. 

The festivities started with the fall program at his school.  It started out with a lot of promise, with the teachers leading all the adorable kids on costume onto the stage and everyone oohing and aahing over the toddlers in their costumes.  We had the camera ready to capture our little one singing and signing to Itsy Bitsy spider.

But it ended with the teachers singing and the kids either looking around at the decorations or staring off into space.   Oh well, I still think he wasl the star of the show.

A few days later we headed to a nearby town for some trick or treating with Barrett's best friend and her parents.  B didn't quite understand the concept at first and was a little confused with what he was supposed to do.

 He was easily distracted by store displays or a giant man dressed in an Elmo costume.

But he caught on pretty quickly and before I knew it, he was reaching into those bowls and grabbing handfuls of the good stuff.  That's my boy!  He 's definitely inherited my sweet tooth.  I couldn't be more proud - except when I have to share my goodies with him.  He's become like Payton with cheese.  His ears can detect the tearing of a candy wrapper from the next room and he comes running in, all smiles and charm, to share.  I guess the least I can do is share his Halloween candy with him, right?


He was so exhausted he fell asleep immediately in the car - with a piece of candy grasped in each hand.

 Saturday night we headed to a fall festival at my friend Tricia's church where our elephant enjoyed a bouncy house and more candy and games.  

Then we set out Halloween night with high hopes and a bear in tow.  He was told at a few houses that he won the cutest child of the night award.

but after about 6 houses, someone was pretty pooped out and decided he'd rather sit in the middle of the sidewalk and dig into his bucket. 

 So we called it a night and headed home.
It was a very fun Halloween for us all this year.  It's a lot of fun to be able to enjoy all these kid holidays again.  It's been quite a while since I went trick or treating and it's a lot of fun to be able to participate with my own kiddo now.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Pregnancy - 37.5 weeks

From this week's email:  Baby is over 19" long and weighs about 6.5lbs at this point.  She's considered full-term.  Some babies need a little extra time to develop their lungs but she'd probably be just fine if born now.  

How far along? 37.5 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: somewhere in the lower 30s.  I am still down from last pregnancy, which is one bright side.  It's funny how much weight I've put on in the last few weeks, considering how I don't feel like I eat that much at this point.  I'm sure it's the baby packing on the pounds.  She's gaining like half a pound/week, little porker!
Maternity clothes? yes. The only non-maternity things I wear are yoga/sweat pants and unzipped sweatshirts and jackets.  Even my shoes are starting to feel tight!  I took off my engagement ring about a week ago and now just wear the wedding band.  My engagement ring was getting too tight by the end of the day.
Stretch marks? None so far.  I guess either genetics or the lotion I'm rubbing into my belly every night is working thankfully
Sleep? not great.  I wake up a lot and sometimes have difficulty getting back to sleep with the little one tossing and turning in my belly
Movement? yes. yes, yes, yes.
Food cravings? cider, hot chocolate, starbucks.  I guess I'm on a beverage kick these days.
Gender? girl.
Belly button in or out? debatable.  I think it's becoming an outtie but Tim still thinks it's flat.  I guess he has a better view of it than I do of it, so I'll trust him.
What I miss:  lack of backaches and the ability to get comfortable on the couch, having energy to play with Barrett, high heels, having a lap!
What I'm looking forward to: meeting this little girl
Milestones: being in the last month and in the final countdown.  Oh and picking a name finally!!

Well someone must have forgotten to tell baby girl that she is supposed to be slowing down her movements in the last month of the pregnancy, since there's no room anymore.  She's apparently decided to make her own room instead and is doing her best to try to expand my belly outward to accommodate her need for space.  Ouch!  She is so lively, it's making me nervous!  Barrett was relatively gentle with me and has turned out to be a somewhat feisty boy, so what does an extremely lively inside baby translate to??  I'm scared!
Me - looking nearly as exhausted as I feel!

I was told by someone at work the other day that she could see I was near the end in my face.  Being pregnant is funny how you get so many comments on your appearance.  One day I will be told how huge I am and the next, I'm told how tiny I am.  I take it all with a grain of salt.  I will say that I agree with the comment about my face.  I feel like my face looks fuller and my lips are looking a lot fuller.  Actually, I felt like my lips were a little puffier this entire pregnancy, but especially now at the end.

Things are going okay, just getting harder.  I'm exhausted by the end of a workday, with aching feet and back.  I am okay for then most part while I'm at work, but it's as though the minute I walk through the door, it all catches up to me.  I feel guilty because I can't interact with Barrett as much as I'd like to because my body just won't let me.  Bouncing on an exercise ball helps.  I know I should be going for walks too, but I'm just too tired! 

I'm starting to check out at work.  I have too many other things on my mind.  I have been fully immersed in work stress for the last few months, so I think it's caught up with me and my level of interest is quickly plummeting!  At least I only have 9 days left, which is crazy to me.

And we finally picked a name!  I was starting to get seriously panicked about this.  I'm hanging my head in shame at what terrible parents we are this time around.  Poor #2.  But she does have a name so she won't have to leave the hospital nameless.

It is so hard to believe how close we are to the end.  I am getting excited but also getting very nervous!